Sex Ed From The Heartland

Don't you wish there had been some highly knowlegable, funny, and thoroughly blunt discussion of sex back in high school, when you were getting pregnant/getting people pregnant, dodging STDs and wondering if you were really gay? Well, for the rising generation of horny teens the internets have granted that wish!

I speak of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, a teen-produced webcast about all the stuff they left out of Sex Ed BEFORE the disasterous "Abstainance Only" programs took effect. This is the real deal, the straight dope, the word on the electronic street. It's funny, it's informative, and there are teen girls talking (intellectually) dirty.

It's distribution is also being threatened by the nebulous terms of service of all the social networking sites that teens use instead of thinking, these days. YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, et. al. are doing their level best to eradicate this splendid public service from the internets. Bastards. But I'm encouraging you to pass the word of this little gem of sexual info so that it can reach the right people i.e. young, dumb kids with testosterone poisoning.

Take a moment to take a look, and be prepared to get digressed for a few hours. It's that freakin' good. Then spread the word, fight the power, you can't stop the signal!

Creamer says Check It Out!

(props to Rollertrain for bringing this to my creamy attention.)

Bree Olson v. Kayden Kross: Marshmallow stuffing!

Funniest shit ever! Just got emailed this clip from a recent interview with Adam & Eve contract girls Bree Olson and Kayden Kross! It's a contest about who can stuff the most marshmallows in their mouths at once, which has tremendous professional implications for the two young ladies!




More to cum!

I Love DVD Porn

I know it's all the rage for the kids to get their kicks on the internets with free porn, but I think I'm migrating back towards good ol' DVDs for a while. The phishing and adware and other badness associated with online porn is just too much hassle to deal with, and -- let's be honest -- most of the fare is pretty lame. DVDs are more secure, more discrete AND more discreet, and you can hide them from your kids in the Civil War History Channel box set where they'd never think to look.

Besides, there's some tasty stuff out there, recently. A lot of cool porn parodies just hit the market, and the larger players are putting together more feature (as opposed to gonzo) stuff. Wicked did some amazing things last year with director Brad Armstrong, Adam & Eve has got the power-blonde duo of Bree Olson and Kayden Kross pumping out creamy goodness on a monthly basis, and Vivid and Hustler are putting out some good stuff, too. If you haven't seen "Who's Nailin' Paylin?" You've got some homework to do.

Sure, it might be easier to just sit and whack away over your keyboard, but let's respect the masturbatory experience, shall we? Good porn, like good literary erotica, is an art, albeit a highly commercialized and often poorly produced art. And art usually costs more, especially when the alternative is free. But spending a couple of extra bucks to get some high quality porn is preferable to a night of unfulfilling website hunting where every third video is that tacky Paris Hilton thing or "two girls and a cup" (if you don't get that reference, count yourself blessed.)

Catching a whole porn DVD is a lot more satisfying than hitting up some crappy free adult movies site, getting spun around to a bunch of re-directs, picking up a couple of nasty trojans and such on the way, and then getting busted by wife and/or kids when you forget to clear your search history.

DVDs are just classier, somehow, and help put jerkin' the gherkin in the realm of sensual erotic experience, as opposed to a guilt-ridden exercise in self-satisfaction.

Besides, it's nasty to encounter a sticky mouse. Just my thoughts. What are yours?

Geek's Revenge: Just Plain Nerdy Fun

My first public foray into erotic fiction began with this (on-going) story, called Geek's Revenge. It was a pretty simple start, actually, the idea that an affluent computer nerd, Coop, encounters the cheerleader who teased him in high school (Carla) ten years later, when she's a practicing crack whore. Reversal of power leading to sexual revenge with plenty of witty commentary on socio-sexual mating habits among the nerdery. Hilarity ensues.

One of stories I enjoy writing most, due to the easter eggs I drop for my fellow nerdlings. Response has been uniformly good, including a flood of fan mail for both the aggressive bisexual three-way in chapter 3, and the science-fiction book club gang bang in Chapter 5. I'll continue adding to this (absolutely free) story until I wrap it up, as inspiration visits. So far she's been involved in Star Wars and Serenity/Firefly, but I think I'm going to work through all of the various sci-fi/nerdy subcultures and take Carla on a brain-and-pussy-expanding exploration of the geeky set she once despised. Remember, it's a revenge thing, no blood and not much "pain", and for the record it never happened. At least not to me.

Your comments, questions, and humorous insights are always welcome!

Creamer

Now on Facebook

Just joined Facebook because everyone else was doing it and I wanted to be cool. Find me on facebook here. Ask me and I'll probably be your friend. And you need another friend, don't you?

Welcome to the Creamery/Who Is Creamer?

Welcome to the Creamery! I've had fans bugging me for ages to put together some sort of a blog or web page or something, and so it shall be. First, an introduction is in order.

I'm a happily married writer of thoroughly scandalous porn. You don't need any further detail than that, and I'll look askance at anyone who tries to out my secret identity. It's something I do to fill the time between freelance gigs and my day job, and it allows me to practice my craft while giving y'all some whack-fodder. My specialty, thus far, has been in non-consensual/reluctant fiction, revenge fiction, etc. No blood-and-guts and damn little whips-and-chains, I prefer the psycho-sexual over the icky. I've got just a few books available at my site at lulu.com and you can read a lot of my stuff for free here at literotica.com, our most precious free porn resource. In future postings I'll be detailing the scoop on each of the volumes in question, and answering your questions. I'll also be talking out of my ass a lot, doing reviews of all things porny, and generally filling up the bandwith with crass and tasteless (but utterly lusty) thoughts.